I’m Bringing Winter Back

September 9, 2010 at 8:29 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Ok, summer. We’ve had quite enough of you. Never satisfied just to be a regular season like the other 3, you had to go and show off. In your constant search for attention and validation, you insisted that we refer to you as “record hot summer,” “one of the hottest summers in modern recorded history,” etc, etc.

Well, we’re sending you back into obscurity. You’re officially being put on notice: Your 15 weeks (give or take) of fame are nearly over. Labor Day came and went and soon so too shall you.

And, in your place, shall come fall. Not just plain old fall, or even autumn. Nope. This’ll be “the most beautiful fall since the emergence of trees 370 million years ago.” I’m talking hillsides dotted with the most brilliant fire engine red and Aztec gold leaves you’ve ever seen. The smell of spiced apple cider blanketing every square mile of New England. The most refreshing cool breezes, which can signify only one thing:

The imminent arrival of “the most epic winter in the history of the world, even counting ice ages.” Nor’easters will arrive like clockwork every Thursday afternoon, disappearing just as suddenly by midday every Friday, but not before leaving a beautiful layer of new fresh powder, at least a foot deep. The rest of the week, the high temperature shall be 28 degrees – exactly – every day, but the intense bluebird sunshine will make it feel 20 degrees warmer. Santa Claus and Hanukkah Harry will team up to create the most awesome toys ever invented, and kids will be so happy that the concepts of bullying, bickering, and boredom will be all but forgotten. Maple trees will produce the richest, most intense syrup ever tasted, with a flavor so euphoric that it will actually be classified as a narcotic and banned in 37 states. Shaun White will invent a new trick that is so incredible, so awe-inspiring, that people of all races and creeds on every corner of the planet will pause to admire its beauty, and for a brief fleeting moment, the possibility of world peace in our time will seem possible.

And Ski Butternut will continue to provide the greatest laid back, wallet-friendly, fun-for-the-whole-family skiing experience in southern New England.

Winter, your time has come.

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2 Comments

  1. Great piece. Dreaming of first tracks already. Thanks for starting my winter engine.

  2. I feel a cooling breeze from the north tingle the tip of my nose. It disengages the reluctant grip of a few early-to-turn amber leaves from the Maples that line the front of Ski Butternut’s parking lot.
    The magical words you write will help keep winter on track – full storm ahead.


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